Brett Banter

Ever been assaulted by a bird? There's a code for that. More than once? Yes that too. Incidents and accidents at the chicken coop, squash court, opera houses and art galleries are there as well.

What is it? According to a Washington Post article today, it is a new federally mandated program aimed at hospitals and doctor's offices that requires some changes to the way people are coded when they come in the door. Specifically, it changes the current system from roughly 18,000 codes to 140,000 codes. Yes, we checked the comma placement on those.

Want to see the full list? Go here. Prepare to be amazed. I 'm no doctor so I have never heard of a malignant neoplasm, but apparently there are 150 varieties of it. There is suicidal ideation and suicidal ideations. Glad we got that cleared. Our favorite, though, is O-R-69, an unspecified illness. We think that one will be used a lot.


Does this simplify anything for anyone, anywhere? Possibly for people who get attacked by turtles, because there is a code for that. But sadly, there is nothing for a turtle and macaw team-up. It appears America's enemies have won again.